I woke up around noon, feeling like I had a surprising amount of energy considering that my rheumatologist appointment was yesterday and I’d spent two days anxious about it and pushing myself into an intentional flare, so that he’d see what I deal with on such a regular basis. I had high hopes of beading all day. And then it felt like someone just snuck up and stole all of my spoons while I wasn’t looking, before I actually got anything accomplished.
Suddenly, it’s ten hours later. I’ve posted the two new pieces that I made yesterday to my shop, this blog and Facebook. I responded to a few short messages to the Baubles & Blessings page. I went through a package of charms that came in, caught up on page comments… And somehow that was my entire day. I feel like I’ve been thinking through thick mud — and a headache — all day.
Though I have been nearly completely certain that what I have is fibro for a number of years now and that thought was echoed by my former PCP, I hesitated to speak about it publicly for a long time because I was bullied and accused of faking it. Now that I have an official diagnosis, I plan to post here regularly about what it’s like to try to get through life in this body, mainly for those who care about me but don’t get it. If that doesn’t describe you but you get something positive from me sharing my experiences — commiseration, understanding of someone you love, etc — then these posts are for you, too.
For now, I’m going to crawl into bed, get some ice on my knee (which sounds like a preferable alternative to the rheumy’s suggestion that I get it drained), hydrate and do something that doesn’t take a lot of brainpower. My batteries feel like they’re going to need another day or two to recharge, though I’m hoping to be able to do some beading tomorrow and hubby will hopefully have a doctor’s appointment on Thursday, to which I plan on accompanying him.
As always, thanks for being here, being you and being awesome!